What an obituary is, and what it is for

An obituary is a permanent record of a life. Not a form to fill in, not a legal notice, not a press release — a record, in words, of who someone was, what they did, and who they leave behind. It is one of the few pieces of writing that will exist in archives and memory long after everything else about the administrative process of dying has been completed and filed.

Templates help when words are the hardest part. In the days after a death, the people best placed to write an obituary — the people who knew the deceased most deeply — are also the people least able to think clearly. A structured template does not replace the writing; it removes the paralysis. It tells you what information you need, in what order, so the words can be about the person rather than about working out what goes where.

The obituary serves three practical purposes beyond its emotional function. It announces the service, giving friends and acquaintances the chance to attend or to send condolences. It provides a historical record — obituaries in newspapers of record are the most commonly cited sources for basic biographical facts in family genealogy research. And it thanks and acknowledges the people and institutions that formed the person’s life: their school, their employer, their faith community, their friends.

Both US and UK obituaries follow the same broad structure, though the conventions differ slightly in tone and length. American obituaries tend to be longer and more comprehensive, listing extended family members and community affiliations in detail. British obituaries, particularly those in national broadsheets, tend to be more literary in style — they read as assessed judgements of a life rather than biographical catalogues. This template works for both approaches; the difference is in how you write the life narrative section, not in the template’s structure.

When to use this template

Family-written newspaper obituary. The most common use. The funeral home may provide a template, but family-written obituaries using a structured guide produce more personal results. This template provides the structure while leaving the voice entirely to the writer.

Online memorial obituary. Platforms like Legacy.com, Funeral Guide (UK), and individual funeral home websites publish online obituaries with no word limit. The digital format allows multiple photos, video messages, and a condolences section. The template’s full structure is appropriate for this format without any trimming.

Funeral programme insert. A shorter version of the obituary — typically 150 to 250 words — is included in the order of service printed for the funeral or memorial. The template’s core fields (name, dates, family, brief life summary, service details) provide the source material for the condensed version.

Tribute for a parish or community newsletter. Churches, village halls, sporting clubs, professional associations — many community organisations publish brief tributes for members who have died. The life highlights section of this template is the relevant source material.

Advance planning. Some families prepare obituary drafts for elderly relatives with their involvement — gathering accurate dates, family names, and career details while the person can confirm them. An obituary drafted with the person’s participation is both more accurate and often more meaningful than one written under the pressure of grief.

What it must include

The five non-negotiable elements of any obituary:

Full name and dates. The person’s complete name (including maiden name where relevant, middle name if used), exact date of birth, and date of death. This is the genealogical record. Future researchers — grandchildren, historians, biographers — will rely on these details being accurate.

Survivors and predeceased family. Who the person leaves behind. The convention is to list survivors first, in order of closeness: spouse or partner, children (with spouses or partners noted), grandchildren, siblings. People who predeceased are noted separately: “She was predeceased by her parents, Joseph and Helen, and by her brother Michael.” Do not include every cousin — limit to the immediate family relationships that the deceased would have considered central to their life.

Life narrative. The section that makes the obituary worth reading. Two to four paragraphs covering career (not a full work history — the defining chapters), community involvement, faith if significant, passions and hobbies, and character. Specific details make this section work: the name of the school they taught at for thirty years, the title of the book they published, the charity they co-founded, the hill they climbed every year until the age of eighty. Generalities (“she loved her family and her community”) are true of almost everyone; specifics are true only of this person.

Service information. Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service. Whether it is open to all or private. Any reception or wake details. Without this information, the practical function of the obituary — announcing the service — is unfulfilled.

Memorial donation information. If the family has requested charitable donations in lieu of flowers, the charity name and how to donate. This is an increasingly standard element of modern obituaries in both the US and UK, and many families find it a meaningful way to honour the deceased’s interests and values.

Variants you will encounter

Death notice. The shortest form — 50 to 100 words — announcing the fact of death and the service details, typically placed by the funeral home. No life narrative, minimal family listing. The template’s service details section provides the source for this format.

Tribute obituary (broadsheet style). For public figures, newspapers of record — The Times, The Guardian, The New York Times, The Washington Post — publish full editorial obituaries of 600 to 1,200 words written by their own journalists. These are assessed biographical pieces, not family announcements. The template here is for family-written obituaries; broadsheet-style tribute writing follows journalistic rather than template conventions.

Social media memorial post. A short tribute posted on the deceased’s own Facebook or Instagram page, or shared by family members. Typically 100 to 300 words with one or more photographs. Tone is personal and conversational rather than formal. The template’s family and life highlights sections provide the source material.

Memorial website. A dedicated page on platforms like Forever Missed, GoneButNotForgotten, or a funeral home site. The full template content is appropriate, with additional photos, audio, or video.

Step-by-step: using the template

Step 1 — Gather the facts before writing. Collect the exact dates (birth certificate if available, death certificate for the death date), full name including any name changes, and family names with correct spellings. Confirm the service details with the funeral home. Errors in an obituary — wrong dates, misspelled family names — are painful and, once published, permanent.

Step 2 — Write the opening sentence. The convention is: “[Full name], aged [age], of [place], died on [date].” Or: “[Full name], [brief identifier — ‘a primary school teacher’, ‘a retired RAF officer’, ‘a beloved husband and father’], died peacefully at [location] on [date].” The identifier in the second version does a great deal of work — it orients the reader immediately.

Step 3 — Write the family section. Use the template fields. Name the people. Do not reduce them to numbers (“she is survived by two children”) unless space is extremely tight — names make the obituary human.

Step 4 — Write the life narrative. This is the section where most families struggle. Start with the facts and add one specific memory or detail per paragraph. If you are stuck, ask other family members: “What is one specific thing you will always remember about them?” The answers are usually the material for this section.

Step 5 — Add service details and donation information. Confirm these with the funeral home. Double-check spelling of the service venue and the charity name. A donation link that is wrong is a donation that never arrives.

Common mistakes

Mistake 1: Writing in generalities. “She was a wonderful mother and a beloved friend” could describe millions of people. “She drove to school every morning to make sure her grandchildren had a hot breakfast before class” describes one person. Every paragraph in the life narrative should contain at least one specific detail that is uniquely true of this individual.

Mistake 2: Incorrect family listing. Getting a family member’s name wrong, omitting someone who should be listed, or failing to note a predeceased member — these cause lasting upset. Read the family section back to more than one family member before publication. Names and relationships need to be verified, not guessed.

Mistake 3: Including address details. Do not include the family home address in a publicly published obituary. Obituary announcements are a known target for opportunistic burglars who know a property will be unoccupied during a funeral. “Of Dorchester” as a general location is appropriate; the street address is not.

Mistake 4: Rushing the writing. The practical deadline pressure of a newspaper submission deadline can push families to produce an obituary that they are not satisfied with. If possible, write a draft, share it with two or three family members, and revise. The five minutes of revision time is always worth it.

Mistake 5: Omitting the service location detail. Listing the date and time but not the full location of the service means some people will not be able to attend. Include the full name, street, and town of the venue.

Worked example

Margaret Ellen Harrington, born 12 September 1938, of Dorchester, Dorset, died peacefully at home on 14 April 2026, aged 87.

Margaret trained as a teacher at Salisbury College of Education and spent thirty-four years teaching primary school children at St Mary’s Church of England Primary School in Dorchester, retiring as deputy headteacher in 2001. Former pupils still write to the school to describe her patience, her unfailingly tidy handwriting, and her particular gift for helping children who found reading difficult. She was a founding member of the Dorchester Reading Charity, which she chaired for twelve years.

She was a devoted member of All Saints Church, Dorchester, and sang in the choir for over forty years. Her garden, which she tended with enthusiasm until last autumn, was a source of considerable pride and regular open-garden visits for the local horticultural society.

Margaret is survived by her husband of sixty-one years, David John Harrington; by her children Thomas David (b. 1962), of Exeter, and Claire Margaret (b. 1965), of Salisbury; and by seven grandchildren. She was predeceased by her parents, Harold and Edith Ferris.

A funeral service will be held at All Saints Church, Dorchester, on Friday 2 May 2026 at 2:00 pm, conducted by the Reverend Sarah Lowes. The service is open to all who knew Margaret. A reception will follow at the Church Hall.

The family requests that donations in Margaret’s memory be made to Marie Curie, whose hospice nurses provided such compassionate care in her final weeks. Donations may be made at mariecurie.org.uk.

The obituary was reviewed by three family members before submission, and corrected twice — once to get the retirement year right (2001, not 2003) and once to verify the spelling of one grandchild’s name. Both corrections were easy to make before publication and would have been painful after.